The Oracle
Shielding my eyes from the bright sun, I stepped from the porch and raised my face to the sky.
"It's a beautiful day," her voice was sweet and tender.
"Yes it is," I replied.
The sound of the screen door slapped shut in the background, his steps thumped unceremoniously across the porch and down the steps.
"You know you will never be happy with him," she whispered into my ear.
"I know," the sinking feeling slowly ebbed in, diminishing the effect of the beautiful day.
I stared at him as he brushed past me without a word and walked to the truck, pausing slightly when he realized I wasn't following him like an obedient dog waiting for acknowledgement.
"I had better go, he's in one of his moods," turning to leave I briefly wished a silent wish that life didn't have to be so hard.
Climbing into the drivers seat, my mind travels, for a brief moment, to a time long ago when I was still a child. My Father had been drinking, a lot of drinking, and we were almost home. He was rambling in the front seat about heritage and how important it was that I live up to my heritage. He had taken his eyes off the road and we had hit a tree head on.
"Are we going to go or what?" Startled by his voice, I turned in his direction and nodded. "What were you thinking about?" his voice sounds worried now, he's afraid I'm having another episode.
"Nothing, I just had a thought," attempting a smile, the reflection in the rear view mirror shows no facial expression at all.
Looking into my husbands face I realize for the millionth time that I do not love him. I try to remember a time when I might have, but I can't. If I were a stronger person I could just leave him, but I'm not. I'm weak. I stay with him because it is so much easier to stay with him and be unhappy than it is to leave him and break his heart.
"Ok, if we're going to get there in time, we've got to get going," his voice has regained it's sense of urgency.
"It's a beautiful day," her voice was sweet and tender.
"Yes it is," I replied.
The sound of the screen door slapped shut in the background, his steps thumped unceremoniously across the porch and down the steps.
"You know you will never be happy with him," she whispered into my ear.
"I know," the sinking feeling slowly ebbed in, diminishing the effect of the beautiful day.
I stared at him as he brushed past me without a word and walked to the truck, pausing slightly when he realized I wasn't following him like an obedient dog waiting for acknowledgement.
"I had better go, he's in one of his moods," turning to leave I briefly wished a silent wish that life didn't have to be so hard.
Climbing into the drivers seat, my mind travels, for a brief moment, to a time long ago when I was still a child. My Father had been drinking, a lot of drinking, and we were almost home. He was rambling in the front seat about heritage and how important it was that I live up to my heritage. He had taken his eyes off the road and we had hit a tree head on.
"Are we going to go or what?" Startled by his voice, I turned in his direction and nodded. "What were you thinking about?" his voice sounds worried now, he's afraid I'm having another episode.
"Nothing, I just had a thought," attempting a smile, the reflection in the rear view mirror shows no facial expression at all.
Looking into my husbands face I realize for the millionth time that I do not love him. I try to remember a time when I might have, but I can't. If I were a stronger person I could just leave him, but I'm not. I'm weak. I stay with him because it is so much easier to stay with him and be unhappy than it is to leave him and break his heart.
"Ok, if we're going to get there in time, we've got to get going," his voice has regained it's sense of urgency.
posted by Sherri Sanders at 12:48 PM
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